Power in a name

I believe that there can be power in a name. What your parents name you can make a difference. At some point in everyone's like I feel like they have found someone with their same name that inspires them. That encourages them to be better. That is why we have chosen to name our daughter after one of the most intelligent, caring, outgoing, funny and successful women I know. We have chosen to have her middle name be Margaret after my lifelong mentor. I strive to this day to become a better person and a better women like Margaret and I hope that one day when my daughter is struggling with the temptations of this world that she can reflect on her namesake and see that there is a better path. I hope that just by having her name somehow it will encourage her to be strong and caring. It will encourage her to see the world as it is and reach out to make it a better place. I hope it will encourage her to work hard and understand there are no bounds because she is a women. I hope her reminds her that love can run deep and change so many lives if you chose to put yourself out there and love those around you.

Ultimately, I hope that by this small chose, I will be reminded to raise her as a strong, independent women. That I will remember all the times that Margaret taught me about compassion and hard work. All the times she would go out of her way to make me feel loved and needed. That I remember that time is a precious gift that when given can nourish a soul to blossom into something beautiful. I hope it reminds me that of who my daughter can be and that she can only become that if she has a strong women (or a few strong women) to help her grow and catch her when she fall. To help her dust off and move forward in a world that tries to keep her down.

This is why I chose Margaret. To remind me that there is good in everyone and that I must foster that in my daughter. That I must teach her to love deeply, to care, to work hard and to reach for the stars.

A Little Bump

Today I have noticed that I am slowly starting to show. I really think it is still mainly bloating and other things of that sort but then I have to remember that I am also about 4 1/2 months pregnant. It's kind of nice to be showing but I have to tell you. With every pound I gain my anxiety kicks in. I worked so hard before to lose weight and keep it off. Now, I see the scale climbing despite watching what I eat, exercising and such. I know I have to gain weight and I an okay with that but the scale is going up more than it should each week. I am fearful to go to the doctor for he may say something. I am fearful of gaining too much because it is bad for me and baby. It's a struggle that only get worse each week. I am not sure what to do about it. I remind myself I have to eat and exercise still and try not to worry about the scale but it's constantly in my head. Every bite worries me, every time I weight I panic. I am starting to think something is wrong with me. Is it possible to have temporary eating disorder? I used to never worry about it until I was pregnant. Any advice from those who have been through this before?