24 hours

I have 24 hours left until my first doctors appointment. This is where we should confirm our pregnancy. I have taken countless test all being positive since my first one on September 1 but it's still hard to wrap my head around. However, since Tuesday I have been nothing but concerned. I took my last digital weeks estimator test but I didn't get the results I was hoping for. If you know anything about these test they are suppose to read HCG levels and estimate how far along you are since conception. When I took the first one it said 1-2 weeks. Then one week later I took a second one and it read 2-3 week. Therefore, on Tuesday I took my third and final one. I expected that it would say 3+ weeks because I was over 6 weeks along. However, it still ready 2-3 weeks. This is when the dread set it. Now, I know those test are not always accurate. Many things can change the results from if you have diluted urine, or not being exactly 6 weeks along. However, all I can think is that there is something wrong with the baby. That my levels aren't rising enough. Of course, it would be more logical to think that I ovulated a bit late and have my dates off but what rational person would really think that?

Therefore, all day Tuesday I just kept checking to make sure I wasn't bleeding or my symptoms didn't change. Everything seemed fine. Yesterday, I was too busy to really think about it. However, today I feel like I am in an downward spiral of anxiety and dread. I didn't have very many symptoms yesterday, my boobs seems smaller today, I am not as tired as I have been... All these questions keep filling my mind. It's only 9:00am and I can't concentrate as I am consumed with fear. Maybe this is how many women feel before their appointments. Logically, you could argue that a women can start preparing herself for bad news at her first appointment as a defense mechanism. I have already not allowed myself to get too excited about being pregnant. The first week or two I read books, blogs, etc. However, this week I haven't read anything. I refuse to allow myself to get preoccupied anymore until I know for sure.

It this what is really going on? Am I just putting up walls for fear of tomorrow or is my instincts kicking in telling me there is something wrong? I won't know until tomorrow but I feel I will be cursed to worry and stress for the next 24 hours.