Doctors Appointmnet

Today M and I will visit a Urologist to discuss M's semen analysis and how we can move forward. The biggest part of today is to make sure there is not a serious health problem with M which caused poor results. Once that is ruled out we can then move forward with what to do to increase our chances of having a baby. I am sure it is nerve wracking for M but I am a bit of a mess today too. First, I don't want anything to be wrong with M. Secondly, I am afraid of what they may say. On one hand I am ready to get answers to way we are having so much trouble and what we can do about it but I am nervous because I am a worst case scenario type of person. I don't want my dreams crushed and I don't know how well I will handle news that it will be tough to conceive (any more than we know it will be). Lastly, I am nervous because I don't want M to get stressed out or feel bad. I know how much of a toll it takes on me knowing that I am broken and I am one reason we can't have a baby. I know it makes me question how “womanly” I am because that is what my body was made to do. I am sure my feminist friends out there are cringing and that last statement but for me it's personally true. So I can only imagine how it could make M feel and how it could shake his confidence.

If you get a moment say a prayer for us or send us positive thoughts (or money since these tests are expensive)!