11.5

Today marks the halfway point for my cycle this month. This means that in about two weeks (give or take a few days) I will know whether or not my body was able to ovulate this month without the medication or not. It also means that in about two weeks I will either be pregnant or moving in to trying to conceive for over a year. I am expecting we will tumble over the year mark with ease as my body has never acted correctly without medication but there is always a small part of me will always hope. I think the main reason that I hope that this will be our month (other than the obvious ones) it that it will mean we will most likely have our baby in 2014. If we don't get pregnant this month it means our baby will be born in 2015. In my mind this seems so far away. I know it's the same amount of time as every pregnancy but to see it topple into another year. Don't get me wrong, I am not really a fan of having a baby in December especially since there is a good chance they could be born on Christmas but I would love to have one before the end of the year. Plus, there is a small part of me that things a New Year’s Eve baby could be awesome. Grant it, there is a good chance that even if we did get pregnant this month that the baby still wouldn't come until 2015 because I would chose not to have an induction and wait for labor to start naturally or at least that is what I am saying now. Who knows what I will actually be like when I’m pregnant. I also still hold out hope to get pregnant this month because I would love for the hubsters brother and family to be here when the baby comes and not in Florida.

With all this, I think I am going to be okay either way this month. I don't have my hopes up too much because I know my body plus there are so many pros and cons to having a baby at the end of the year/beginning of the year for us that I guess it really wouldn’t matter. Therefore all I can do is wait. Wait to see if I ovulate in the next few days. Wait to see if we manage to get pregnant. Wait to see what the doctor says if we don't get pregnant. Wait to see if our lives will change soon or if they will continue to stay the same.

P.S. I think we may need to talk with my in-laws about out struggles. Lately, they have been dropping some hints about us having a baby. I think after almost 5 years of marriage they want us to have children. I have been reluctant to say anything because I don't really know how to bring it up and it is very difficult to share something so private, especially when you are unsure of what is exactly going and only have a suspension.