One Year Away

A couple weeks ago M's brother told him that him and his family plan to leave Bartlesville and move to Florida in about a year. They are waiting for my sister-in-law to finish her accounting degree and then plan to make the move. M and his brother are really close so it was a big blow to M. I feel bad for him, I understand that it is difficult to live far away from your siblings and nieces and nephews. All my siblings live in different state. Everyone always has good intentions to see each other once or twice a year but in realitity that doesn't always happen, mainly because traveling is very expensive. M is not looking forward to this at all and really doesn't even like to talk about it. I think he is in denial because he always assumed his brothers would stay in their hometown. M is one of the few that love living here and I am not surprised that his brother would like to move. Don't get me wrong Bartlesville is a great town but it is not my first choice. I knew when marrying M that I would most likely stay here for the rest of my life but I do envy them for making the choice to move. We will sure miss them.

Now for the real reason I am writing this post. Yesterday, I received a random text from my sister-in-law asking us if we would like to move into their house after they move. Currently, they live in M's childhood home. It is owned by his mother and his brother rents it from her. They have lived there for over 10 years and the arrangement has always worked out nicely. My mother-in-law gets a little income each month from the rent and the house stays in the family. So his brother wants us to consider moving in there after they leave for the same to reasons, to help his mother out and to keep the house in the family. I was blown away that they already want us to consider this. I mean, they don't even 100% know if they are moving. Most likely they are but not for a year. I was also taken aback by this because I don't know how I feel about it.

We just bought our home a little over a year ago. I love our home. The layout is exactly what I was looking for, the back yard is a nice size, it's in the school district we wanted and now they want me to sell it after only living in it for two years? M is so excited at the possibility. When we were looking for homes all he could talk about is how he would love to live in the neighborhood where he grew up. In fact, at one time there was a house for sell right next to his brother and he wanted to buy it. He is excited at the idea of living in and raising a family in the home he grew up in but I am not as sold. Grant it, we may be able to pay less a month if we rent from his mom. It would be like owning a home because we would have full rights to do whatever we wanted to it but we wouldn't be building any equality. Secondly, what happens when she passes away? Do we inherit the home? Lastly, I agreed to live in M's childhood home but I didn't agree to live the life his parents did. I want to make a life of my own and it feels odd to just move into their family home so they can keep it with the family. Do they expect us to give it to our kids when we get older? Eventually, it will leave the family so why are we being asked to keep it now?

I know that I don’t have to agree to this but it seems so important to M and after what I have asked him to do this last year it seem like it would only be appropriate to give him this. I mean, he has graciously taken on my brother and my mother can I not just agree to live in a home he loves? It is just a house, should it really be a big deal to me to move there?

I know we have a year to discuss this and figure it out but it already seems like I am losing the war and my first home. I guess we will see what happens in a year.