Mountains out of Molehills

Why do people feel the need to look at the future and worry about something that hasn't even come to pass? My mother does that all the time. It seems to be getting worse each day. I understand the need to look into the future. I am a big advocate of making sure you are forward thinking and forward planning but within reason. If you don't have a plan for the future then your life may turn to chaos. If you don't have a plan then how do you expect to fulfill your dreams? However, my mother doesn't think about the future like that. Instead, she looks at large problems that don't really need to be address until they actually happen. She is doing this now and it is making my life very difficult.

My stepfather, who has been in prison for most of my life, is up for parole this summer and she is already worried about it. Here is a little background on the situation:

* My stepfather has been in prison for 16 years for abusing my older sister
* My mother’s decided to stick by him and they are still married
* Most of my family is indifferent about the situation now that it has been so long
* My mother has always chosen what is best for her and my stepfather over her children
* My mother plans to stay with him after his release


I think that about covers it and explains how much of a screwed up family we come from. Anyways, she is already worried about how "the holidays will work when he gets out because they kids don't want anything to do with him" and about "how she is going to be able to see her grandkids when he is out". I understand that these are valid concerns but it's nothing we need to worry about now for two reasons. First, he may not get paroled and will have 6 more years in prison. Secondly, if he is paroled it will be in Texas and won't be able to leave the state for 6 years so visiting Kansas for holidays will be difficult. However, at this point she is beside herself with anxiety because she feels she is going to soon choose between her kids and her husband.

This makes me laugh because no matter what she says she has always chosen him over us and because we are not making her choose. We are all grown adults with families. Not all of us will be able to make it home for holidays every year and we don't want to have to worry about it until it actually could be a problem. I understand this could become very real soon but it's not real now and even if he gets paroled it's not like he is in our lives the next day.

I sure hope she can calm down and take it slow for the next couple of months because her worrying and constant discussing of it is wearing on my nerves. The fastest way for me to want nothing to do with this situation is to continue to talk about it every day. Please pray for my sanity.